Breaking Patterns

Do you ever wonder why your heart always gets broken? Ever wonder why you can never find the right man, that every man you’ve been with has disappointed and hurt you?

I’d like you to look back at the type of men you’ve been looking for. Can you spot a pattern?

What was it that attracted you to the last guy that you were with? Maybe there was something quirky about him, or the line of work that he’s in? Or you liked that he didn’t quite “live by the rules”? So what happened in the end? Why did you guys break up?

Do you often wonder why your friends have strong and happy relationships? You might ask yourself, “Why can’t I find the kind of love that they have?”

It could be because you keep looking for the same type of men. You may not know it, you may think “He’s different.” But just how different is he really?

Compare your exes with the men that your friends are with – the ones that are in long term, happy and committed relationships. Study their personalities and their core beliefs between them. Compare how differently they react in times of stress, how they cope with their struggles and how they treat their partners.

Did you find that you were constantly having to make excuses for your ex partner’s behaviour to your friends and family? 

Sometimes people are so eager to find love and want to settle down, that they take what they can get. And then they get hurt again and again.

You could try and break that pattern. Because you know what you’ve settled for in the past HASN’T WORKED OUT FOR YOU.

Try going to different places to meet new people. Try meeting personalities that are different to the ones you’re used to meeting. Try different avenues in the dating world. Trust your friends when they tell you they’ve found the perfect guy for you.

You’d be surprised that some men who do not seem “exciting” or “interesting” at first, may end up being so later on – once they’re comfortable being around YOU.

List the traits that all your ex partners have in common (quite often they might even be perceived as positive traits to you). Memorize them, and remember – you have to break that pattern. If your heart has been broken more than a few times, you should now open your eyes to recognize those patterns straightaway.

You could also re-write a new list of what you are looking for in a man. It’s quite possible that the list you have right now, just isn’t compatible with your personality. 

You can change what you’re looking for in a man, without having to lower your standards. 


You could try and better yourself. Find new hobbies, join a gym or whatever makes you happy. Because when you’re happy, you’ll attract positive people.

We all know that there’s no perfect man out there. Nobody is perfect. Neither are you. But know in your heart what you’re willing to accept in a relationship. Know what you need out of a relationship. Be 100% sure of who you are, what you want and what behaviour you’re willing to accept from a man.

Having lots of excitement, spark and lust for each other at the beginning of a relationship usually lasts during the “honeymoon period”. Once that period subsides, a relationship also needs commitment, love and respect for each other. Your job is to look out for the type of men that can give you just that, way after that honeymoon period.

I did a little google search and found Helen Fisher’s Personality Test. Take the quiz and you might find out the right types of personalities that are more suited to who you are.

Do not keep looking for the same type of men, hoping to get a different result each time. 

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