Co-sleeping with Toddlers and Sex with My Husband

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If you would like to go straight to the sex part, scroll down and look for “SEX BIT STARTS HERE”.

Aaaah the joys of co-sleeping. My husband and I love having our two younger ones in our room every night. Just kidding! Sometimes we love it, sometimes we want to smother Mr 2.5 in chloroform.

Miss 4 and Mr 2.5 started out sleeping in their room when they were babies. But they both had night terrors. TERRIBLE NIGHT TERRORS. Don’t know what they are? Have a read about it here.

The advice given in so many parenting articles about night terrors, say parents should stay close to the child while he/she is having an episode. There’s nothing you can do to stop it, just make sure you’re close by and they’re safe and unable to hurt themselves. But do not try and wake them up. 

Sorry, what? We’re supposed to watch our toddlers scream their heads off in their sleep, while they bang their heads in the cots? Mine would get so frightened they would try and climb out of their cots. All while still asleep. Sorry, but no.

The day we decided they would sleep in our room was when we, as their parents, had our first full nights’ sleep in over a year. Night terrors were GONE.

There are so many advantages to co-sleeping. But I won’t go into that in this post. Find out more about co-sleeping here. 

Mr 2.5 is a wild party animal. He will party until he drops. Bedtime routine? With me working in the afternoons and coming home at around 9.30pm, I’m just grateful if he’s asleep by then. My husband, bless him, while I’m at work, he deals with their dinners, baths, tantrums and their general whiney-ness. And he has to get everything ready for work the next day as he leaves home at 5.30am.

Bedtime routine? Miss 4 is great, nearly every night, she yawns “I’m tired”, shuts her eyes and falls straight to sleep. Mr 2.5 is different. He wants games, treating the bed like a trampoline, and ever since he’s started to talk? He now won’t stop talking. Just CONSTANT YAPPING.


So this brings us to our sex life. By the time Mr 2.5 passes out in sheer exhaustion from just being himself, my husband and I are tired too. Seriously? Who wants to have sex when all we’ve done is try and get this defiant child to sleep? Once Me 2.5 falls sleep, there’s silence. And once there’s silence, we fall sleep.

So how and when do we have sex?

On the weekends we make sure we touch each other a lot during the day (in a non sexual way). Long hugs, a long kiss, sitting on the couch holding hands… Skin contact. Having an emotional connection in the day, can lead to physical connection at night.

During the work week, we text naughty messages to each other, to remind each other that we are doing the bedroom tango TONIGHT. The reminder helps us to make sure dinner gets served on time or even a bit earlier, kids get super quick showers, lights off and then we wait. Sometimes we wait and we end up falling asleep ourselves. But SOMETIMES, just sometimes, when the stars align… We jump into each other’s arms and do the GRAND SLAM.

Don’t worry, they’re heavy sleepers. Once they’re out, they’re out. If they can sleep through my husband’s snoring, they can sleep through anything.

We try to make sure we have sex AT LEAST once a week, sometimes more if we’re lucky. Any longer than that, it’s because we’ve been a bit disconnected with each other from working and running our busy household. We know we both WANT and DESIRE each other, just life gets so busy and we forget to put sex on our to-do list for a few days. Some nights, we are so exhausted, we are just happy to sleep in each other’s arms… Until he starts snoring of course, that’s when I kick him and tell him to shut up.

Do any of you co-sleep with your children? How has it affected your sex lives? Comment and let me know!


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